If drinking, drug use, or acting out were our only problems, then simply stopping would resolve everything. However, as newly clean and sober individuals, we soon realize that overcoming our addiction is just the beginning. While addiction may have started as a way to escape emotional issues, it often becomes a far greater problem than those initial struggles. Imagine a man jumping off a pier into 20 feet of water to extinguish the flames on his clothes. He puts out the fire, but tragically drowns because of his impulsive leap.
To achieve long-term recovery, a two-pronged approach is essential. We need to address both our addiction and the underlying emotional issues. Specifically:
- Direct Treatment of Symptoms: This phase focuses on breaking the psychological and physiological bonds of addiction.
- Repairing Negative Effects: We must work on the psychological, physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our health, as well as the emotional health of our relationships.
- Addressing Underlying Issues: This involves emotional growth and learning how to foster healthy relationships.
For many, maintaining sobriety requires developing what the Big Book refers to as a “fit spiritual condition.” This concept of spirituality is crucial; discovering and connecting with a higher power provides the strength and ability to stay clean. Cultivating humility is key. The 12 Steps are designed to connect us with a power greater than ourselves, which aids in our recovery. We must learn to step aside and embrace humility, achieved systematically by working the steps in order. While the steps help break the chains of addiction, they also teach us how to live more effectively and harmoniously.
Although the steps offer a powerful framework for change, the work must be done by us. No one can do it for us! We must dig deep and confront ourselves in ways we’ve never done before. Expect to feel worse before feeling better, and let go of the desire for an easier, softer path. Life can be challenging, and often, the path of least resistance isn’t the best choice. We need to stop relying on others for our self-esteem; this dependency is a significant underlying issue. Our next step in recovery, after establishing a solid foundation of sobriety, is to learn to take responsibility for our own feelings and hold on to ourselves.